![]() New( ish) Blizzard games seem to have this thing where you need to have been shoving Lego bricks up your nose with industrial aplomb to be killed early on, because they want to suck you in before they ramp the challenge up at all. Not that I stopped playing Diablo III because it got too hard. But the point is, Diablo has probably conquered whatever the world of Diablo III is called by now, and I say, "Enjoy, asshole! 'Cause I can't figure out what you see in it." I picture all those NPCs shackled to the grinding wheel in the underground slave pit, and then someone brings up that hero guy who represented the last best hope for salvation and mysteriously stopped moving on his way into the demon king's lair, and everyone goes quiet and looks at the floor. But tell me, did you ever spare a thought for what happened in the games you never got around to finishing? Are Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine now forgotten piles of mulch at the bottom of the sea because I couldn't be arsed to finish the final boss? Do blistered peasants still crawl around the smoking crater that used to be Skyrim making banal, unsolicited conversation with passing crabs? Did the protagonists of Final Fantasy XIII fail in whatever the fuck they were supposed to be doing? It's even worse if you get really far in the game before giving up. Saving the world is to the life of a video gamer what removing Lego bricks from nasal cavities is to the life of a kindergarten teacher.
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